The Musings of a Giant Idiot

That is the line Billy Packer said when Brandon Rush hit a three for Kansas giving the Jayhawks a 28 point lead against North Carolina in the Final Four. There was a problem with Packer’s statement, the game was still in the 1st half and there was no way Kansas was going to continue to play they way they were for the rest of the game. Packer having played in the ACC and announcing ACC games for years should have also known that Carolina was going to make a run, this is the same school that won a game against Duke in the pre-shot clock era when they were down 8 with 17 seconds left. Well Packer will not be lending his expertise to the Final Four or CBS games anymore. After 34 Final Fours, 27 of them with CBS, Packer is gone from CBS. I for one am extremely happy that such a joyless broadcaster is gone.

I have felt that Packer should have been gone years ago. Here is a guy announcing one of the most popular sporting events in the world and he does it with as much joy as someone facing a colonoscopy. The first two weeks of the tournament are always great to watch, the upsets by the little schools, missing work to watch the first two days, which Cinderella will make the deepest tournament run. All of this great drama and games were always ruined because in the Final Four Billy Packer was going to be announcing. With Packer gone CBS had an opportunity to bring in someone who truly loves college basketball and can tell the viewer what is going on. Unfortunately they missed by picking Clark Kellogg, he does love basketball but he is a horrible announcer. When I saw the news that Packer was gone I was hoping for Bill Rafferty to take the mic alongside Jim Nantz. I would love to hear Rafferty opening the Final Four next year with “And Duke opens up in mantoman.”

Like many people today I stood in line to get the 3G iPhone. As most people know there is an 8GB model and a 16GB model. The 16GB also comes in black and white, I was going to be getting the black one. At least I thought I was.

I met a friend at an AT&T store in the Nashville area around 7:15 this morning. There was a line and the rumors started swirling that there was only 100 phones. No way was the supply going to equal the demand for this thing. At 8:00 the doors opened and the first 30 or so line waiters got in. The problems started immediately, the computers were bogged down because of the high volume but then what do you expect? Apple was doing a global launch with this thing and that was going to be the result.

As Jenni and I started creeping closer to the AT&T store they broke the news, “We are sold out of the black 16Gb iPhones.” One lady with two kids left because that is the one her husband wanted. I decided to stay and hang out a bit and was seriously thinking of buying the Stormtrooper looking white one,

but a good friend brought me to my senses, if I am dropping coin on this thing than I best get the one I want. I waited around to say bye to Jenni but someone was talking her ear off on the phone. I finally was able to sneak in a goodbye and took off.

I kept in contact with Jenni to see how her quest was going, she told me that they were now out of the 16GB white ones and that she had gotten an 8GB iPhone but they could not activate it because iTunes was down. Looks like Apple is going to have some serious explaining to do for at least one news cycle.

I rank the Best Picture field in 1997 right behind the field in 1994. In 1997, the nominees were The Titanic, LA Confidential, Good Will Hunting, As Good As It Gets, and The Full Monty. After ten years I think LA Confidential is the best of the bunch with Good Will Hunting second. However, Good Will Hunting has one of the great scenes in movie history. I wonder if anyone has had a moment like this weather it is a bar or another setting. I know I have.

There was a loudmouth airmen holding court in our division TOC talking about the recent Syracuse/Kansas final that Syracuse won. The topic eventually got to high school players going pro and what colleges Kevin Garnett and Kobe Bryant would have gone to if they had not made the jump to the NBA. This guy was a know it all and if someone questioned him he tried to pull rank or tell them they were dumb. He kept on saying how great Michigan would have been with both Kevin Garnett and Kobe Bryant. I was listening to this moron on the peripheral and decided to chime in that Kobe was going to go to Duke not Michigan. Since I was sitting down he tried the tough act to get me to change my mind. He obviously had no idea that I was 6′3 and a fit 230 because he would not have done that if I was standing. As I stood up to tell him why he was wrong I could see his demeanor change. He still tried to act tough and even tried to pull rank but since he was wrong and started the argument and was in the Air Force I was not listening to him. Before it escalated any more someone had checked about Kobe and found that he would have gone to Duke. I did not need the confirmation since I knew it, but the loser did.

Anyway enjoy the “Hahhvad Bahh” scene from Good Will Hunting:

I have been hit with a serious case of writer’s block when it comes to updating my blog. I have plenty of stories I could tell, opinions I could share and movie scenes I could show but to me it seems that my blog has become like Groundhog Day. I am not threatening to quit like this guy I am just telling everyone that I am having a hard time figuring out what I want to do with the blog.

If I am getting bored of telling stories about the Army and growing up or talking about sports and movies than I cannot imagine what the people who read this must be thinking.

I am curious to know how other bloggers have dealt with this because I know that it had to present itself at sometime.

Funny things happen when you are in a war zone. If something happens that is newsworthy you may be the last to hear about it. On one occasion I was a couple of blocks away from one of the biggest stories the first year of the war.

After Baghdad was liberated the 101st was tasked to Mosul and the Ninevah province. While in this ancient region we would be rebuilding the infrastructure of the city and try to establish and maintain a local government. My unit was charged with establishing a veterans employment office (VEO). I was one of the team members of this important project that would give Iraqi veterans jobs.

We found a location that was in the heart of Mosul, the building we picked was the old compound for the Fedayen Saddam, the local militia that was loyal to the regime. The building was in decent shape but needed some serious upgrades for us soldiers. So we did what any American would do, we started negotiating with local businessmen. I got to sit in on a couple of the meetings, drinking hot chai or cafe au lait or going to a hookah bar smoking a brick of tobacco and talking business with these men who only knew about capitalism from what they read (and they were very well read) and had never really seen it practiced. It was really cool to be a part of this. We picked our contractor and they went to work restoring the building for us to use. Nice tables, computers, internet, tv, chest freezer for our water and of course air conditioning. We were hooked up.

While the remodeling was going on we were vetting the Iraqi veterans. We had translators who would ask questions and after they passed the screening and checked out on our lists we would issue ID badges. If some of the guys got flippant, well let’s just say I taught all of the translators how to cuss like an American, my little contribution to American foreign policy.

After the remodeling was complete we moved into the office. There was six of us, a Captain, a senior NCO and 4 soldiers. We had the hook-up, we hated leaving the office and looked forward to driving to work each day. On one of these days our handheld radio had some serious chatter going on and we had no idea why it was coming through on our channel or what was happening. We did hear about a task force and they had the location of some high value targets (HVTs). We thought nothing of this and went back to what we were doing.

Once we got back to our unit’s base, which happened to be one of the Hussein boys Mosul pad, I checked my email. I had a couple of emails asking if I was okay because of the big attack in Mosul. I was confused and had no idea what they were talking about. I wrote back saying I was fine and I had no clue what they were referring to. I went to play some ping pong and watch TV and then I saw what everyone was talking about. The Hussein boys had been found by a task force of soldiers and special operators. This was what was coming over our radio. The Hussein boys had been located, were surrounded and from the looks of the pictures on the news did not respond well to American firepower.

While this mission against the Hussein boys was going down, the VEO staff was sitting about three blocks away getting ready to introduce our translators to that American cinema classic Die Hard.

I love American history, my wife thinks it is boring like I think Math is boring. When I read a book it is usually about guys who have been dead for over a hundred years. It may seem boring to some but I think it is important to know the history of your country, how we got to were we are and how to avoid the mistakes that have been made in the past. With the 4th of July coming up I found a 20 question sample of the latest citizenship quiz. Take it for fun and see how you do. Not to brag but I got all the questions right.

I love college football. I love the tailgating, the 90 year old alums being true to their school, the game day atmosphere, the stadiums, the uniforms, the helmets and the classic rivalries. Today I am ranking the 5 best college football helmets.

5. Michigan Wolverines

An all-time classic with the wing and the maize and blue colors.

4. Alabama Crimson Tide

This has been one of my favorite helmets since I was a kid. I love the number on the side and the colors are classic.

3. Georgia Bulldogs

An underrated helmet in my opinion. Love the big “G” and especially love the milkbone decals that decorate a Bulldog helmet during the season.

2. Penn State Nittany Lions

My second favorite uniform and helmet. Love the plain white with the single blue stripe down the middle. These uniforms are as timeless as JoePa’s highwaters and glasses.

1. Nebraska Cornhuskers

Was there any doubt what was going to be number one?

I know there are some rabid college football fans out there so I want to hear what you think.

After a long lay off I am back with more anecdotes from my youth. We have explored my driving, my life of crime and my career as a roofer. Today’s chronicle is going to explore one of the dumber moments of my life. It was my senior year in high school and the events of this night would lead me to be grounded for the last time under my parents roof.

In 1994-1995, I was a senior in high school and that winter the school was wrapped up in our basketball team. We had a great team that year and made it to the Ohio state semi-finals before losing. Most of the upperclassmen would drive to the away games to cheer the team on. It was after one of these road trips that I got busted for being drunk.

Unlike a lot of the kids in my class I did not have my first experience with alcohol until the summer before my senior year.

During the rest of my senior year if we somehow got our hands on beer I spent the night at a friends house. This worked out pretty well and I thought my parents had no clue what we were doing (in hindsight I am sure they did) until I came home from an away game in a condition that was not quite sober.

The dining room light should have been my clue. That light usually meant my Dad was up either watching TV or at the computer. Being a teenager and thinking I could get away with it I decided to go inside and take my chances. Once I walked in the door, I made the critical mistake of going downstairs to watch Sportscenter instead of making a beeline upstairs and to the safety of my room. I casually walked to the basement door told my Dad that North (my high school) had won and then went downstairs and hoped my Dad went to bed before I fell asleep.

Next thing I know my Dad was standing over me telling me to wake up, go to bed and we will talk about this in the morning. Even in my state I knew that the next morning was not going to be pretty. It was not.

When I came downstairs for the cross examination my Mom’s first words were “mouth a little dry?” I gave a meek smile and waited for the onslaught of questions, “Where did you get it?”, “Who were you with?”, “Where were you?” and of course “What were you thinking?” I just wanted it to be over and get my punishment and be done with it.

My punishment was brutal. A senior in high school and I would spend the next several weeks on a tight curfew or at home. My Dad got a mound of dirt to make flower beds in the backyard and guess who was tasked to move the dirt from the frontyard (this guy!). After about a month and as I was finishing up my Sisyphian task with the dirt, my Dad came out to talk to me and tell me my punishment was being lifted. I was relieved and then he told me how he knew something was amiss that fateful night.

That year was Duke’s worst year since the early 70s and they were winless in the ACC. My Dad simply told me he knew something was wrong when I failed to mention that Duke had won their first conference game that night.

I have always thought this movie was overrated but for some reason I will always watch it just for the final scene. Robin Williams may be at his best in this movie and that is saying a lot considering all of the garbage he has made in his career.

While in Hilton Head my wife and I played tennis a couple of times. We both enjoy watching and playing the sport. I played for close to ten years growing up and she played in college at Austin Peay. Our first date was a tennis match with the added bonus of the loser buying the winner dinner. It was the first time in my life I did not care that I lost. Since that first match we have played against each other occasionally but not as often as we would like. She plays in a woman’s league in Nashville and when she is gone I hone my XBox skills.

We played twice in Hilton Head and once when we got back to Nashville. Callie won 2 of the 3 sets we played. I won on my birthday which made me a little suspect. It was fun to get out there and hit again and it was great to be playing with Callie even if she does stomp me. One of the perks of playing was when we got done we could go the pool or the beach. It was a great vacation for both of us and Tuesday at work was probably the longest day for both of us.